


Into The Wild, but Human (AKA Bluestar's Very Bad No Good Couple Months, But It Just Get's Worse Bluestar, So Buckle The Fuck Up (By Fall Out Boy))

by orphan_account



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Gen, it is heavily implied that brokenstar cut lionheart's brakes, most people live/almost nobody dies, well nobody dies but some people get kinda injured
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23533486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A rewrite of the first TPB book but only from what i remember and also they're humans.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Into The Wild, but Human (AKA Bluestar's Very Bad No Good Couple Months, But It Just Get's Worse Bluestar, So Buckle The Fuck Up (By Fall Out Boy))

Sunlight poured in through the windows, bathing their little home in warmth and pouring in through every crack and crevice like warm honey. It was warm for once, a rarity considering that it was edging near the beginning of fall.

Bluestar was at her desk, the door to her study wide open, and hacking fervently at the paperwork she had to get through. The addition of three more apprentices, two more children in the home (Bluestar was already planning out who would be their mentors if they decided to be apprenticed), plus the death of Raggedstar and Brokenstar having to take over. Bluestar was in charge of rounding up all the old ThunderClan Home paperwork that ShadowClan was part of.

"Bluestar?" Redtail questioned, knocking on the door and stepping in anyways.

"Yes, Redtail?" Bluestar paused in her paperwork and looked to her deputy.

"I-" Redtail hesitated. "I need to take maternity leave."

Bluestar blinked in confusion for a moment before realization dawned. "Congratulations, Redtail. When are you due?"

Redtail coughed awkwardly, still as uncomfortable discussing things like this with her as the first day he was there, and mumbled into his shoulder. "Sometime in early January," He admitted.

Bluestar nodded. "Well, congratulations again. I think I'll have Lionheart stand in as deputy while you're gone." Pausing to consider something, she raised an eyebrow. "Have you already told Sandpaw?"

Sandpaw, Redtail's oldest child, had been apprenticed only a couple months ago- she was ten and a half, as her birthday was October 1.

"Yes," Redtail nodded. "She seemed upset at first, but I think she's excited now to meet her little sibling."

"Well, congratulations, again." Bluestar turned back to her paperwork. "Good luck- you survived the terrible twos once, but let's see if you can repeat that."

"Thank you, Bluestar." Redtail smiled, turning to leave her office.

"Oh, and Redtail-" He paused as she called out, "Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean that you get out of doing the paperwork. Have a good day."

Ah, Redtail. A good, responsible deputy, with a firm head on his shoulder's- Bluestar was sure that she'd be proud the day she could call him Redstar.

  
"Attention, everybody," Bluestar cleared her throat during mealtime, standing up and drawing the attention of the residents. "Redtail will be taking leave for some time, and during that time, I appoint Lionheart as deputy of the ThunderClan Home."

Claps and cheers rang out, and Bluestar saw Rusty, one of the newer twins, lean in and whisper to Graypaw. Ah, to be young and have friends.

"Why's Redtail taking time off?" Asked Princess, Rusty's twin sister. Her brown was braided up, a nervous habit if Bluestar had to guess, and confusion and worry was written into her face.

Ah, right. Redtail had been in charge of making sure the twins settled in- it was inevitable that they got attached.

"Redtail has taken personal time off for family reasons," Explained Bluestar, clapping her hands. "As such, Sandpaw will be absent from lessons for a week."

Whispers broke out among the younger ones-Rusty and Graypaw shared a worried glance-but Brindleface and Frostfur, who were both there for Redtail's first pregnancy, nodded and clapped politely.

  
"It just doesn't make sense, Graypaw," Rusty said, pacing back and forth. "Ravenpaw comes in saying that Redtail is going on medical leave because of Tigerclaw, and then Redtail takes 'personal time off for medical reasons'? It's suspicious!"

Ravenpaw, curled up on his bunk, winced. "I shouldn't have said anything,"

"Nonsense," Said Dustpaw, who was working on a card. "You saw something you thought was dangerous and told people. I say that's good."

"Besides," Graypaw added, "Sandpaw is his kid. Maybe his parents are sick or something, and he wanted her to visit them in case they, y'know," He made a slicing motion over his neck, complete with unnecessary 'bleh' sound effects.

"Seriously?" Dustpaw asked Graypaw. "You just made the," He repeated the motion, "In front of two kids with dead parents." A moment later, he said, "And now I've done it too."

Rolling his eyes, he went back to writing. "And anyways, Rosetail lives here already."

All the other apprentices stared at him. "What?"

Ravenpaw spoke up. "I don't think they know that Rosetail is Redtail's mom. Star's know how, honestly, considering their faces are identical, but whatever."

"I thought Swiftbreeze and Adderfang were Redtail's parents?" Graypaw stuck his hand up.

"No, they're his adoptive parents. Rosetail was too sick to take care of Redtail as a kid, and they already had some kids, so they just adopted him."

"Redtail has siblings?" Rusty asked. "Nobody looks like him here."

Dustpaw rolled his eyes. "Again, he's adopted. Right, so Swiftbreeze and Adderfang have four kids, not including Redtail. Of them, three are still alive- Patchpelt, who's the oldest, Willowpelt, who's second oldest, and Spottedleaf, who is Redtail's age."

"Spottedleaf? The doctor?" Princess asked. She'd been enjoying spending time helping out in the woman's office, and was considering becoming an apprentice solely to learn under her.

"Yeah. Fun fact- Willowpelt is my mom!" Graypaw added. "And Leapordfoot, the one of their kids who's not alive, is Tigerclaw's mom." He paused for a second before shivering. "Ugh, I'm Tigerclaw's cousin."

  
"Ma'am, I was wondering, if it wouldn't be too much trouble-" Princess swallowed a nervous lump in her throat. "Could I possibly become an apprentice, so I can learn under Spottedleaf?"

Bluestar watched with amusement from her desk chair. "Alright." Picking up a pen, she slipped a form from a folder on her desk. "Would you like to change your name, or would you like to remain Princess?"

Princess chewed on her lip. "I'd like to stay Princess," She admitted. 

Bluestar nodded. "Now," She finished filling in the form and signed it with a flourish, "Please sign here to show that you've agreed to it."

Princess nodded, signing with a much less sure hand.

"Now then," Bluestar smiled at the girl, "Let's go let Spottedleaf know. I'm sure she'll be overjoyed."

  
"Hello, Bluestar," Grinned Brokenstar. The man was tall and intimidating, with a mane of untamed hair and scars littering his face. He was standing in the doorway to Fourtrees Library, where the Gathering was. 

"Brokenstar," Bluestar acknowledged him. "You look well." It was a lie. He looked like the kind of person who would eat a dead deer in the middle of the train tracks.

But that was irrelevant.

"Nice of you to finally join us, Brokenstar," Drawled Crookedstar, who was leaning back in his chair. "Where are the other ShadowClanner's?"

"Yes, Brokenstar," Added Tallstar, "Where have you put them? Surely you have little ones of apprentice age."

Brokenstar snorted. "They did not wish to come with to the Gathering."

 _That_ was certainly suspicious. Almost everyone in the Homes wanted to get to go to a Gathering.

"How odd." Bluestar said, making subtle eye contact with Tallstar. _This is suspicious, yes?_

Tallstar nodded, returning her eye contact. _Definitely._

"Anyways," Crookedstar interjected, "I have the forms from RiverClan this month- Oakheart, my brother, has decided to retire."

Bluestar hid her grin. Oakheart, her darling husband, had never wanted to be leader, and now that his brother was considering retiring himself, he had decided to take a break and spend more time with their children, Mistyfoot, Stonefur, and Mossheart.

Brokenstar snorted again. "Three of our children have ended up in the hospital- Badgerpaw, Marigoldkit, and Mintkit. As well, one of our previous members has been exiled. I suggest you all watch your children extra carefully."

Gasps from all three leaders- it was rare for even one child to end up in the actual hospital, what with the Homes all having their own private doctors, so three was unheard of.

"I'm so sorry," Bluestar said, eyebrows crinkling up in grief. 

"Ah, well. It is nothing." Brokenstar dismissed it. "Besides, they will get better." He paused. "Probably."

Rage simmered in Bluestar. Three children, hospitalized, and he didn't even care!

They finished up the meeting, before Bluestar called back those she'd taken with her this time- Spottedleaf, as her doctor, Princess as the apprentice healer, Dustpaw and Ravenpaw, and Lionheart.

"Oh, and Bluestar?" Brokenstar added, just as she was going to leave, "Drive safe."

Bluestar stared after him as he departed. "What does /that/ mean?" She asked Lionheart.

"I'm not sure," Her stand-in deputy admitted, staring after the leader as well. "Anyways, I'll be the one picking up the groceries this week, right?"

"Yes," Bluestar nodded, slinging her bag over her shoulder and escorting the children back to the car (Admittedly, it was her car, but it was big enough that she could transport them all). "I'll take these ones home, you get the groceries?"

"Ten-hut!" Lionheart playfully saluted. "I'll meet ya at the home in twenty."

  
Bluestar was in the middle of planning dinner tonight when the phone rang. Picking it up, she said what everyone said to the phone- "ThunderClan Group Home, how may I help you?"

The voice on the other side was muffled and staticky. "Is this Siniy Medved?"

It must be serious- only a few people knew her legal name, and it was only used for emergencies.

"This is she." Bluestar crossed her fingers, hoping it was just paperwork or similar.

"We have a Mr. Asada Boulos in the emergency room, his phone lists you as his emergency contact?"

Shit. Shitshitshit.

"Which hospital are you at?" Bluestar hoped she wasn't noticeably agitated.

"Chelford General Health and Wellness Center." Replied the voice, before hanging up with a /click!/

  
"Siniy Medved for Asada Boulos?" Bluestar asked the receptionist.

"Room 1122." Replied the receptionist, messing with her nails.

Rushing into the room, Bluestar felt her face pale at the sight- Lionheart, unconscious, in a hospital bed. His normally fluffy golden hair was flat and dull-looking.

Inhaling sharply, Bluestar turned to the nurse handling his IV. "What happened to him?" She demanded.

"Car accident, I think," The nurse said, changing out the IV bag. "It sure looks like a car accident, at least." He nodded to himself before heading out. "Chances are Amelia Smith, she's the head doctor for this section, will know what's up."

  
As it turned out, Lionheart had, for unknown reasons, driven directly into traffic. He'd get better, eventually, but it would be a long time, and he might never be able to be what he once was.

Pressing her lips into a line, Bluestar filed the paperwork for Tigerclaw to be made stand-in deputy.

  
"Bluestar," Spottedleaf asked, "Why is Yellowfang here?" She held up one of the forms she'd been helping Bluestar sort through- an application form, with the name Al'Asfar Alfarsi, the legal name of Yellowfang, the ShadowClan doctor.

"I'm not sure." Bluestar plucked the paper out of Spottedleaf's hands. Under the reason for applying, it was, 'lack of home or income'.

Hmm. Suspicious.

"Put the home on casual lockdown," Bluestar said, not tearing her eyes from the page. "Nobody goes outside alone, no children go out back without supervision. I'm going to find out what's going on."

  
"So, Yellowfang," Bluestar said, stirring her cup of tea, "What's going on with Brokenstar?"

Yellowfang bristled. "He framed me for-" She shivered. "He put three of his children in the hospital," She explained snappishly. "Decided to blame me for it. Not sure why."

"And your proof?" Bluestar raised an eyebrow. There was, after all, a reason she'd met Yellowfang in a Cafe and not in the Home- she didn't quite trust the other woman not to attack.

"I have it," Snapped Yellowfang, "It's in his closet back at the ShadowClan home. It's where he puts the training equipment- I'll bet anything that that's where he hid the knife."

Bluestar dropped her teacup. "Knife? He _stabbed children_?"

"Yes," Yellowfang grunted, picking at her muffin, "Said it was 'battle training'- why he'd want to teach that, I haven't a clue. Anyways, he used a real knife instead of the wooden training ones, and-" She swollowed a lump in her throat.

"I'm sorry, I have to go." She stood suddenly.

"Wait," Bluestar commanded. "I think that you are innocent."

"So?" Yellowfang snarled. "That doesn't mean anything- for all you know, I could have killed the children- a single meeting isn't enough to judge me!"

"I'll tell you what, Yellowfang," Bluestar ignored her outburst, "We'll let you move in, but you'll be sleeping in the spare wing, far away from any queens or children. If you can prove, within one year, that Brokenstar did it, we'll let you move in permanently. If not, we call the police. Agreed?" She held out a hand.

Yellowfang looked at it for a moment, before taking it. "Alright. Deal."

**Author's Note:**

> Aha! Some things I've figured out for this AU while writing this-
> 
> 1- Their warrior names aren't their real names- they're nicknames that, while important to them, can't be used on legal documents. This style of nickname is very popular in the area they're in, and you seem odd if you don't have a nickname of some sort.
> 
> 2- The Clans are actually group homes- this gives me a reason for some characters to stick around once they're not sick/young/injured, and for others to peel off even if they are.
> 
> 3- Redtail is trans, and you cant change my mind. He and Tigerclaw used to date, and whoopsy it turns out that redtail didn't know that tigerclaw is dating goldenflower (and is expecting a kid with her).
> 
> 4- in conclusion, tigerclaw is a cheating bastard man, thank you for coming to my ted talk
> 
> (remember to wash your hands after going outside yall! stay safe!!!)


End file.
